My friends I come bringing glad tidings of great joy or somesuch. What I’m trying to say is Magical Girl Policy Chapter 57 is now out for your consumption! As per usual I’ll be dropping my post script for the chapter for my patrons over on my patreon page.
So I’ve recently changed a lot about how I do things this year and, I know it’s early, but my workflow has been greatly increased. We should be seeing an update to ViD rewriting here really soon as a result (week or two). I’ve been inspired because a friend got me listening to old Shadow novellettes on audiobook. It’s made me want to make sure my writing has a little more pulp to it in ViD so we’re going to be punching up Issue 00 of ViD to make sure it sets that tone and we stay with it through the rewrites. I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot of fun!
Wishing you all an awesome 2022!
Taralynn
Might as well mirror my thoughts on Ch. 57 from the Discord:
A very talkative chapter, not that I’m complaining since conversation is something you’re especially good at writing. Plus, this sort of cooldown is a good change of pace after the high-tension NightKnight chapters. It was a real nice read; I can tell you’ve come back from your editing trip sharper than ever.
Angela getting a disguise for SFEERS isn’t something I had in mind since I was under the impression that she joined in part because there’d be no one at events who’d recognize her and tell Cammy. I seem to recall Robynne saying as much when suggesting the club to Angela, though I guess taking extra caution is understandable once everyone’s favorite overpreparing ninja enters the conversation. Goth Angela is a neat angle too. At first I was a little confused over Robynne not minding the idea of swapping bodies with Angela since that does nothing to resolve her actual body issues, but I guess it makes sense in that Angela doesn’t have to put up with cheerleader work and will go undercover of her own volition, while Robynne has been forced by her transformation into living undercover nearly 24/7.
I’m surprised the ConSpiriters thing wasn’t directly addressed, as Vivian’s reaction last chapter suggests she and probably the other Spirit Guards were unaware of the group. I guess it’s fine since it’s clear the gang was told about the entire encounter with NightKnight, and in the last chapter Vivian said Robynne can leave that stuff to the Hush Corps. So not a big deal or anything, just an omission I noticed.
One thing I’m surprised WAS directly addressed was how exactly meeting Taylor is planned to work. I didn’t expect Angela and Mallory to be the ones to greet him; I imagined the Hush Corps would handle it since they were the ones responsible for rigging the contest and contacting him in the first place, though Ms. Kuna also would’ve worked in my mind. I had also predicted that the gang would find a way to ease him with the less crazy info on the Spirit Guard before he gets introduced to the strange girl who is his nephew, but it looks like the plan is to get that out of the way first. Also, I was hoping the day of Taylor’s arrival would be resolved here, as Ch. 49/56 still conflictingly say this upcoming Friday/Thursday respectively (for reference, that’s 6/5 days from where we’re at).
I noticed a capitalization error (“My Clan has always”). The only other issue I found is a small recurring one throughout the series: sometimes when you transition into dialogue using a comma, you would use an improper verb for this (i.e. in the first example below, Robynne can’t “blink” her line). The following could all be fixed by simply replacing the comma with a period:
– “Robynne blinked, “Uhhh….” (There is also an uneeded period after the ellipsis here.)
– “Vivian poked Robynne with her elbow, “You sure”
– “Mal rolled her eyes hard at that and looked like she was about to complain but Kara spoke before she could open her mouth,”
– “Angela blushed, “Well”
– “Robynne shrugged, “I doubt”
The Peppy Godess Mandate pages point to the old server
I just noticed that all of the links on the ‘Stories’ page after the ones for Villian In Distress are broken — they still point to the old site, which apparently no longer exists.