Magical Girl Policy- Chapter 33

Robynne rubbed her cheeks with a groan. “Ugh… that was a nightmare. I want to just punch that Tanya square in the face.”

“Not the most diplomatic response.” Vivian giggled. “Also ineffective. You’d want to punch her in the boob.”

Robynne raised an eyebrow and held her arms together. It wasn’t an especially cold night but Robynne was normally wearing a lot more than the midriff exposing cheer uniform. She could feel goosebumps rising on her skin. “The boob? Why? Because it’s a bigger target on Tanya?”

Vivian shrugged, snug in her high school letterman’s jacket she had had the foresight to bring. “I mean, you’re not wrong. Plus it’s clear she prizes them. Punching her in what she loves most would send a message. But it’s more the fact that if you want to drop a girl, punch her in the boob.”

Robynne raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Totally! It’s, like, the groin kick of women.” Vivian giggled and waved her fist at Robynne. “I could demonstrate if you want.”

Robynne winced at the suggestion. That area was sensitive enough just getting hit with cold shower water. She didn’t want to think of how much a direct punch would hurt. “I’m just going to take your word on this.” Robynne decided to change the subject. “Also, like, Stacy’s turn of phrase seems to rub off on you too, I see.”

Vivian laughed and affected a bit of a valley girl accent. “Oh yeah. I don’t know what, like, it is about that word but donut it’s so, like, totally infections for sure!”

Robynne nodded. “Glad to see I wasn’t the only one who started saying it. Why is that you think?”

Vivian quirked her lips to the side and thought. “Well, I mean, some of it is just natural. We always tend to mimic those around us. Someone swears a lot, you’ll start swearing more. Someone holds their tongue, you’ll do it. If it’s loud, you’ll yell. If it’s quiet, you’ll whisper. It’s, like, a well documented phenomenon. But cheerleaders in particular, I don’t know, there is this sort of feedback loop with the word ‘like’. It’s almost like yawning. One person does it and soon everyone does it. I mean, we all have our crutch, filler words we say. ‘Like’ is just a very common one.” Vivian nodded sagely. “A vicious cycle.”

“Insidious,” Robynne agreed.

Vivian bounced in front of Robynne and walked backwards for a bit. “Gotta say though, as far as cheerleader friends go, you picked out a good one. Stacy is totally fun and adorable!”

Robynne smirked. “Yeah, saw you two chatting it up.”

“As I saw you chatting it up with her. You two make for odd friends, but I can totally see it.”

Robynne rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but hide her curiosity. “How do you mean?”

“Well, I get the vibe that Stacy, despite being a fashion-oriented cheerleader, is completely non-judgemental. So you can be your grouchy, non-fun, gender-confused self and it doesn’t bug her.” Robynne snorted but Vivian just kept going on. “She just lets you have your personal quirks and keeps talking. You on the other hand, have few outlets to just be yourself when you’re out of the dorm so she is a natural fit to be your friend. Plus you’re totally curious about, well, everything, so you can ask her stuff and, since she’s a chatterbox, she’s more than happy to explain.”

“She’s the chatterbox?” Robynne asked with amusement. “You’re the one giving a dissertation on the word ‘like’ and my psyche.”

“And I’m right!” Vivian insisted. “The quantity of my words does not diminish the quality.”

Robynne rolled her eyes as she shivered. “You grossly overestimate the power of your words.”

Vivian chuckled. “You keep underestimating how much colder you get with your tiny body. You need to start bringing jackets at night. Especially letterman’s jackets! They are so warm and nice!”

Robynne snorted. “Only letterman jacket I had is back in Deepwater and is about a billion sizes too big.”

Vivian giggled. “Yeah. Then people would assume it’s, like, your boyfriend’s jacket and I somehow doubt you want that.”

“That is something I’d like to avoid. And, yeah, lettermen’s jackets are really warm, but I also think they have the side effect of giving off a vibe to everyone else that just says, ‘I was important in high school.’ That’s something I’d like to avoid too.”

Vivian held her hand to her chest. “Important in high school? You think that’s what I’m trying to tell people?”

Robynne chuckled. “No. I think you’re trying to stay warm. Because I know you. But other people don’t and will assume you’re just trying to hang onto your glory days.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Vivian protested. “That’s a completely shallow line of thinking!”

Robynne shrugged. “Shallow or not, it’s the truth Vivian. I guarantee you when we go into that social with all the sundry nerds of SFEERS they’ll see that letterman’s jacket the way I just described. Think about it. I’m the exception of a nerd who also was into sports. But for most of them letterman’s jackets were a thing ‘the cool kids’ got and as such became a badge of the people who were outside their social circles. It may be shallow but, come on, you like all this psychobabble. You know I’m right about this. That jacket is a sign of power back to those who didn’t have it in high school. Now that we’re out of high school, people who didn’t like people with letterman’s jackets because those were the people who either bullied or ignored them, will view a jacket like that as a sign of someone who is clinging to the power they lost.”

Vivian blinked. “Huh.” Robynne did so enjoy making her speechless. “I never thought of it like that. You think about this often?”

Robynne shrugged. “A little. I mean, not the angle of what it feels like to people in college. I’m just talking out of my angelcake there… though it makes sense. However, what few nerd friends I had in high school all made a few snide comments ’bout the jacket. Nothing hurtful but enough of a bite to it that I could tell that, well, if it wasn’t a wound it was at least a sore spot. To them, it was a sign that I wasn’t completely like them. The jacket separated us in some way that meant something to them. I mean, not all nerds feel this way of course. Most, I think, only have a passing distaste for the jackets. But the theory makes sense to me. I mean, it’s only natural for everyone to fall into tribes of Us and Them.”

“That is the nature of humanity,” Vivian sighed. “I see your point. Guess I never thought about it because I was always in cheer in high school. Even with my bad acne. The jacket, to cheerleaders and athletes would, by your theory anyway, be a symbol of belonging. Of friendship.”

Robynne snorted. “Yeah. Sadly, for me, it didn’t really come to mean that after… well, you know.”

Vivian chuckled and removed her jacket. “Yes. No need for us to pick at that wound.”

“You don’t need to take the jacket off just because I’m cold.”

“I’m not,” Vivian explained. “I’m taking it off because on the good chance that your analysis is correct, I don’t want people’s first impression of me to be that I’m there to oppress them. I’ll have a hard enough time fitting in as is. I haven’t exactly watched a ton of anime or played video games. Hard to make friends with people if you’re the enemy.”

Robynne rolled her eyes. “Please. Somehow we’re friends despite you being… well… you.”

Vivian gave her a flat smile. “You really know how to give a compliment.”

Robynne smirked. “You’re like foot fungus: people don’t know how you got there, you make them itch, but you grow on them all the same.”

“How the honey do I make you itch?”

“Mental itching. Like, whenever you’re around I’m annoyed yet I can’t help but scratching… yeah, no, that metaphor fell apart fast.”

“Yeah, you were close to something there but you couldn’t quite reach it. Sort of like the third shelf in our pantry.” Vivian shook her fist with a giggle. “A much better simile. Oh, and how the third shelf tasks us! This slight shall not be forgotten third shelf!”

Robynne shrugged but let a giggle escape. “Well, at least the only thing we keep up there is Kara’s more exotic cookware.”

“And maybe some of Noriko’s more exotic weapons for all we know! Who knows what cruel secrets our long legged sisters hide from us up in the lofts of the third shelf?”

Robynne just shook her head and giggled once more, mentally reminding herself not to be annoyed by the sound of her voice giggling. Cruel as the twists of Fate were, she should still be able to laugh. So what if her laugh was now a giggle? She was a girl now and a cheerleader twice over! She needed to allow herself to have a giggle for a laugh, even if it did remind of her of the laugh of that biscuit Evelyn.

“Hey, speaking of not fitting in, were you trying to get Stacy to come to the social?”

Vivian grinned. “Totes!”

Robynne’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, you cannot start saying things like, ‘totes.’ It’s hard enough to not say, ‘like’ all the time with Stacy’s speech patterns earworming their way through my head.”

Vivian giggled and adopted her best valley girl accent. “Like, come onnn. Just, like, talk like a cheerleaderrr. It’ll be totes adorrrbs! Like, one of us! Like, one of us!”

“Has anyone told you that you make it difficult to have a sane conversation?”

Vivian nodded, oozing self-satisfaction. “I have had messages similar to that one communicated to me, yes.”

Robynne shook her head and decided not to dwell on Vivian. “Why were you inviting her?”

Vivian shrugged. “She just mentioned how she didn’t have any plans tonight and sounded kind of bummed out about it. We just so happen to be going to a party. Why not invite her?”

“Yeah, but it’s not exactly a party Stacy would normally go to. I mean, sure it’s called the opening social but given who will be attending we might as well call it an anti-social. Not exactly a lot of people around for Stacy to get involved with.”

Vivian rolled her eyes. “Just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean everyone in SFEERS is, Robynne. Besides, Stacy gets along with you just fine. What makes you so special?”

Robynne pointed to herself with her thumb. “I kill monsters and was a dude one week ago. That’s what makes me special.”

Vivian sighed. “Donut! Walked right into that one.”

Robynne shrugged. “It makes for a nice trump card.”

“More to my point though,” Vivian said with a chuckle, “I think you’re missing a big point. Stacy is extroverted. She likes being around people. To you, being around a bunch of people you don’t know and who don’t share your interests sounds like the most mentally taxing process in the world. But you’re introverted. But people like me and, if I’m reading her right, Stacy get a charge out of meeting new people. Even if she didn’t have anything in common with anyone else, she’d have a fun time meeting new people.”

“Well, what did she say?” Robynne asked. “I’m assuming, ‘no’, since she’s not here.”

“Yeah,” Vivian said with a sigh. “She said she still had to pick out the photos for our profiles and add in backgrounds over, like, the green screen and stuff. Too bad. She would have been fun.” Vivian smiled. “You picked a good cheerleader friend to start with.”

“Oh yeah. I was really trying hard to fill that position.”

“Personally, I think you were. I mean the only female friend you got who isn’t a cheerleader of some kind is Noriko. And myself and Angela are, like, double cheerleaders. You clearly have a need for cheer in your life.”

“What can I say?” Robynne mused with a crack of a smile. “I need a massive influx of insipid positivity to balance out the mass of logic that is me.”

“Psh, mass of logic? Don’t flatter yourself too much. That mass of logic dove head first at a monster to save others. That’s as schmaltzy, girly, fairy-tale-ish as motivations as they come. You should be the heroine of one of those girly animes about friendship and love or something.”

Robynne rolled her eyes. “You’re so eloquent.”

“I am so eloquent! Thanks for noticing!”

“Heh, speaking of flattering yourself…”

As Robynne and Vivian neared the doors to the Windle Student Center, a shout echoed across the campus. “Robynne! Vivz! Like, wait up!”

Both stopped and turned around, though Robynne recognized Stacy’s voice instantly. Vivian giggled. “So she did decide to come with us!”

Robynne pursed her lips out. “She’s already got a nickname for you?”

Vivian tossed her hair back dramatically. “Some of us are personable and make friends fast, Rosy. The nicknames naturally follow. You should try it some time.”

“I’m not giving you a nickname.”

“You don’t have to,” Vivian said, flashing a wicked grin. “I just have to let Stacy call me ‘Vivz’ a lot and soon enough her speech patterns will bleed into your vocabulary and you’ll find yourself calling me Vivz as well. Muwahahahaha!”

“Not to be the finger that pops your soap bubble of delusions, but you’re not exactly intimidating, Vivian.”

Stacy took a deep breath as she finally caught up to the other two girls. “Why is Vivz laughing like some sort of, like, mad scientist?”

Robynne rolled her eyes. “Because she lives in an alternate state of perception where reality flows, not in the direction of increased entropy, but in whatever direction she feels would be more narratively amusing.”

Stacy blinked. “I’m sorry. What?”

Robynne sighed. “Nevermind. Science majors would think that joke’s hilarious.”

Stacy giggled. “Yeah. Pretty sure I’m not, like, the target demo for that joke. Sorry about that.”

Vivian slid right up to Stacy and gave her a quick hug. They had just met and yet they were close enough to justify quick hugs? Robynne worried that the social mores of cheerleaders make any sense to her. “Don’t worry, Stace,” Vivian giggled, “We’ll normalize Robynne soon enough.”

Robynne squinted in disdain. “I’m saying right now that if you two try to turn me into a pet project things are going to get awkward really fast.”

Stacy waved Robynne off. “Don’t worry, Robynne. It’s not like we’re trying to figure out how to get you into dresses and wear makeup or anything.”

“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” Vivian whispered loudly and with a grin as wide as she could muster.

Robynne let out a long sigh. “So, Stacy, Vivian said you told her that you’d be too busy tonight to come.”

Vivian nodded. “Yeah. What’s up with that? Something change?”

Stacy blushed and scratched her nose. “Well, Tanya left for the party she was going to and sort of implied she wouldn’t be checking on the final pictures to put on the cheer website until tomorrow afternoon soooo…”

Vivian giggled. “While the cat’s away the mice will play! Good choice.” Vivian reached up and wrapped her arm around Stacy’s shoulder. “Good call! I knew you were smart!”

Robynne couldn’t help but smile as well. She opened the door to the Windle Student Center and gestured her two friends in. “Got to warn you Stacy, this isn’t going to be like any other social that you are used to.”

Stacy nodded, a slight spring to her step. “Vivz said it was for SFEERS. She said it was a club that focused on video games and comic books and such. I’m not quite sure what to expect but I bet it will be interesting.”

Robynne nodded her head as they rounded a corner to the stairway. “That’ll be putting it mildly.Get ready for a full on nerdgasm.”

Stacy slowed her pace as she followed Robynne up the stairs. “Nerdgasm?”

Robynne winced. She probably shouldn’t have phrased it like that. “You know how, like, at concerts girls will scream and stuff because they are so excited to be at the concert.”

“Well, yeah.”

“This type of event is sort of like that for nerds. Normally they tend to be a bit more reserved. This is one of those rare instances where they freak out and get a tad bit… enthusiastic.”

Stacy’s pace picked up and she nodded her head. “Yeah. Okay. I can see that.” She then glanced between Robynne and Vivian and looked down at the orange tanktop and blue jeans she wore. “It’s not going to be a problem that I’m not in my cheer uniform is it.”

Robynne laughed. “Why would that be a problem? It’s not supposed to be glued to you, is it?”

“Well no,” Stacy said sheepishly. “It’s just that Tanya said you two had to wear yours to the social so I thought maybe I had to as well.”

Robynne stopped. So Tanya let that little nugget slip? So Cammy’s gossipmonger could get secrets but had trouble keeping them herself? Looked like Angela was right on that front. Maybe they could use that later. “She said that, huh?”

“Uh-huh. Which, like, why would you have to go to a social in your cheer uniform? I asked Tanya but all she said was, like, that it just needed to happen. Which totally didn’t, like, make any sense to me, you know?”

Robynne really wanted to explain Cammy’s reasoning to Stacy. She wanted her to see that Cammy was a schemer, to peel back her veneer of perfection. But she couldn’t just outright say it. Cammy’s aura was so domineering that Stacy would likely have to come to this conclusion herself somehow. “Well,” Robynne trailed off and gave Vivian a quick glance, hoping her friend would somehow read what it was she was hoping to do.

Strangely, Vivian seemed to understand exactly what Robynne was thinking. “Cammy’s orders. She wanted us to make an appearance in our cheer uniforms.”

Stacy blinked in confusion. “What? Why?”

Robynne shrugged. “Part of the deal I made with her to get Vivian on the Cheer Squad with me. Something about optics I guess.”

Stacy’s scrunched her eyes together. “Still… I mean… this is…” Robynne could see the gears turning in her head. Good. That was what she had hoped to do. Just get her thinking.

Robynne opened the door to the top of the stairwell and stepped onto the 4th floor. “Doesn’t matter anyway. Our friends have some regular clothes for us. We’re just going to show up in our uniforms, grab our change of clothes, change in the bathroom then go back in.”

Stacy rubbed her arms up and down. “W… won’t Cammy be mad you didn’t follow her instructions?”

Robynne smirked. “She said to ‘make an appearance’ in our cheer uniforms. We’re doing just that. But no more than that.”

“Oh,” Stacy muttered with concern.

Robynne glanced back at Vivian. “Speaking of our clothes, have you texted Kara to ask if she, Eli, and Cory got here yet?”

Vivian gave Stacy a comforting pat on the back but turned to Robynne. “Yeah. Just got a text back from her. She’s waiting by the sign-in table.”

Robynne had memorized the room number the social was supposed to take place in, but it turned out she didn’t need to. All she needed to do was follow the sound of remixed chiptunes. They rounded a corner and there was a hallway littered with nerds showing off the latest in geeky fashion. Halfway down the hall was the main doorway, guarded by a single desk. Behind the desk stood Kara with Robynne’s backpack over her shoulder chatting with a laughing Eli. Robynne’s old roommate smiled happily as he chatted with the bluenette. Next to them, Cory was talking it up with a scarecrow of a man at the front desk. He seemed to be fanning through some Invokers cards. No doubt talking shop.

As the trio of cheerleaders neared the desk, Robynne watched with curiosity and nervousness as the volume of the hallways got quieter. As SFEERS members close to the trio turned their gaze at the odd sight of a girls in cheer uniforms walking towards the social, other members would turn to see what their new friends were looking at. This effect cascaded down the hall and, though she knew it was stupid, it reminded Robynne of watching a pulse wave travel down a line of rope.

They neared the desk and Robynne felt something tickle her extra sense. A familiar aura with the texture of crushed velvet. Standing behind the scarecrow was Fretribution. Robynne took a deep breath. She needed to study this guy’s aura more closely tonight. She needed to compare it to the effects of Cammy’s and Dale’s auras.

The wave of head-turning hit Fretribution who turned to see the cheerleaders right as they got to the desk. He raised an eyebrow at Robynne’s outfit but hid his confusion well. He offered Robynne a warm smile. “Waveform! Glad you could make it!”

Robynne swallowed hard. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” It was not easy being stared at by so many people, but she couldn’t afford to freak out over that. After all, she was having a hard time concentrating while staring directly back into Fretribution’s pretty, bright blue eyes. Donut this body and it’s fudging weakness for a good set of eyes.